March was a complete washout, and one whole day without rain wouldn't go amiss. The best you can say is that at least it didn’t snow, but we did get a few proper hail storms. Anyway, I got out and about and as usual there was plenty to read and watch.

Books

Before I started to write this I felt I didn’t read a lot this month, but looking back I didn’t do too badly.

First up was ‘Wild Houses’ by Colin Barrett, a thriller set in the West of Ireland. Set in a small Irish town and perfectly capturing the ties that bind you, as well as the sense of hopelessness and isolation that can happen, the author knew when to crank up the tension. Engaging and authentic.

Mala’s Cat by Mala Kacenberg was the story of a Jewish girls survival in Poland during WW2, when she escaped to a forest with only her cat for company. As you’d expect, it’s harrowing, with some incredible escapes and it’s a story of survival. Somewhat let down for me by the poor editing and bland matter-of-fact storytelling.

Perfect brilliant stillness by David Carse is an uncompromising account of non-duality that the author would prefer you didn’t read as it might mean the end of ‘you’. I read it anyway, and found it to be a book of stark beauty.

I haven’t finished the review yet but I also read ‘Boy swallows universe’ by Trent Dalton and found it to be an vibrant tale of growing up in a tough Brisbane suburb. Full of colourful characters with some wild ecapades, I found this to be fresh and inventive, I enjoyed this a lot.

Just remembered I also read ‘This is Natto’ by Daniel Erichsen, as I was having some sleep issues and he’s my go to author. Review to follow, but I can say he’s helped me immensely yet again. I wrote about my favourite sleep books here.

Walking

Walking? What’s this, a new section? Well, sort of. Despite the weather, or maybe because of it, I spent a helluva lotta time walking this month. There is of course no such thing as the bad weather, just the wrong clothes, so I walked whenever I could. I love walking in the rain.

As regular readers will know, I love to bring awareness to my activities as part of my meditative practice, and walking is the best time to do it. I let the senses roam - who is the one listening/looking/feeling/smelling/tasting? No one - These things happen without my perceiving them.

I’ve reached moments recently where thoughts melt into the background, and I’m left with birdsong, leaves rustling, gravel under feet. Smell of fresh rain, wind touching face.

And trees. I’ve been so drawn to their stately stillness, the silent beauty of them on the landscape. Sometimes I round a corner and their presence just strikes a chord in me. Maybe in the future I’ll just post pictures, as words don’t do their magnificence justice.

"This oak tree and me, we're made of the same stuff."

― Carl Sagan

Out and About

I made a trip to Belfast this month to meet an old friend, and had a lovely couple of days. We went to see Dune Part 2 which I’ve already wrote about here. If you’re in any way a fan of the cinema, I can't recommend this enough. Epic, visually stunning storytelling. Also got to hang out in various coffee shops and pubs in Belfast, eating some fine vegan food and had a lovely walk in Ormeau Park. Great company, and a lovely weekend (thanks J).

I also made it down the country for my first trip of the year to Croke Park. Every time Ard Mhacha play in HQ, I always want to go because you never know when you’ll get the chance to go again. Not because of my own impending doom, but because Ard Mhacha might not see it again anytime soon. Always have a wee moment when I reach the top of the steps and see it for the first time since the previous years penalty shootout heartache.

Skipping quickly over the result, I enjoyed my day in Drumcondra, even though it was bone chillingly cold in the lower Hogan stand -we were huddled like penguins from an Attenborough documentary. But hey, look at those blue skies and lush green carpet below. Cracking game between Dublin and Derry too, good to see someone else suffering penalty kick blues.

Hey Adrian, enough sport talk on a book blog.

Tv and Film

I watched ‘Poor things’ with Emma Stone and Willem Defoe early in the month. I knew I had read the book (Alisdar Gray’s ‘Lanark’ was a particular favourite of mine back in the nineties -another shout out to J. for that one).

It’s a while since I’ve seen an odder film, and I mean that in the best way possible. It was no surprise to me that Emma Stone as Bella won an Oscar - she's a revelation in this, and you can’t take your eyes off her. It’s almost as if there’s an underlying force animating her, like she’s learning how to use her body - it’s quite the performance. Even her delivery of some of her lines is hilarious, as she learns speech and meaning.

Visually, it’s stunning. It’s got a steampunk Victorian feel, and some of the ‘sights’ are just weird. To begin with, it’s quite subdued, then it bursts into colour, but in a hyperreal way. I had to rewind a few times, just to check I’d just seen what I thought I’d seen.

I’m not going to attempt to tell the story, except to say it’s very much about a journey of discovery that Bella goes on, as a woman in mans world. Mark Ruffolo is over the top, moustache twirlingly hilarious in it as well.

Male fantasy or feminist film? Watch it and decide. I enjoyed its vibrancy, it’s weirdness, and the stunning performance from Stone.

Really enjoying ‘Shogun’. Set in 1600’s feudal Japan, it starts when a sailor is shipwrecked off the coast of Japan. He and his crew are captured, and he arrives at a time when five political leader are at loggerheads, with war seemingly inevitable. The sailor, John Blackthorne, finds himself in the middle of this turmoil.

At the heart of the story is a power struggle between the warring lords, so I can understand the comparisons with ‘Game of Thrones’. There are lots of power moves, shifting alliances, and momments of savage violence.

What I really enjoy about it is that you feel Blackthornes complete bewilderment at the society and situation in which he finds himself - it’s a previously impenetrable world , and you can only imagine how strange and complicated these customs would have seemed.

I especially like the role the translator plays, as the only person to speak English - we hear the original words, the translator Mariko spins them, often to prevent misinterpretation and embarrassment but increasingly for her own use - she holds a certain soft power. And matters of the heart also start to play a part.

There’s a wonderful attention to detail with the costumes, the customs, and the architecture and landscapes. You really feel you have been transported to a bygone era, and I became gripped by the storyline - hard to beat political intrigue and nuanced characters. There’s a developing story in the background - as Japan opens to the world, outside forces such as the church clamour for influence and power.

To my surprise, I also enjoyed ‘3 body problem’ on Netflix. Surprise, because science is not my thing - I just have a bit of a mental block when it comes to mind melting quantum physics concepts that I just can’t grasp. But science fiction is very much my thing so I thought I’d give this a go.

I was able to mostly grasp the science in this - some of it is far fetched, but it seemed as if it was possible to me, which meant it worked. It’s a show about making contact with Aliens, and the big problems this causes. Even if those problems are 400 years down the line.

I’ve only recently learnt this is based on a book, which has been westernised from the Chinese version. I did really enjoy the scenes which are set in China, but understand why it has been remade for a Netflix audience. But it’s made me want to read the books now, especially now that the series has ended.

Just like ‘Shogun’ above, you have to pay attention. This is good for me, as too many shows glaze over my eyeballs. I want to be involved in a tv show, and ‘3 body problem’ did just that. I found myself rewinding a couple of the science parts, just to make sure I understood them properly, and it certainly paid off. Tense, a bit violent, full of mind bending ideas - definately a recommend.

Music

Faltering badly on the music front. Haven’t discovered anything new to share, because I’m still in this mode of letting music find me. My tinnitus remains pretty bad, which has meant I’m not listening to as much music as I used to. But to be honest my tinnitus is pretty much permanent these days, so I have to turn music up to hear it, which makes it worse. Headphones are a big no-no, and radio stations seem to aggravate it as well. Annoying for someone who loves music as much as I do.

It’s hard to describe tinnitus - somedays I have to turn the tv up just so I can hear things, or ask people to speak louder on the phone. Today for instance it sounds like the old wireless radio static you’d get between stations.

It’s with me from eyes open until I fall asleep. Silence heightens it of course, and it’s more pronounced during meditation. But meditation actually helps because I just notice it. I have no control over it, and I can even pay attention to the way it fluctuates in tone, how it pulsates. It’s a great source for self enquiry - who is the one listening to the tinnitus?

Sometimes I find I have a song in my head. There’s often no reason for this song, and it plays along in the background for parts of the day, like my own personal jukebox stuck on one track. Apparently this is called musical tinnitus. The blue Danube, all seven minutes, will play the whole way through before immediately starting again. That went on for days, probably after an Andre Rieu concert but it was a song I listened incessantly to as a teenager when I discovered classical music and the film 2001: a space odyssey. So it’s stuck in my noggin somewhere.

After Christmas I came out of a five day meditation retreat and for some reason the song 'Ripple' by ‘The Grateful dead’ was stuck in my head - this is despite me not knowing the song or the band, but the tune must have lodged in my head sometime over the years.

At the start it was annoying, because it was constant -it would come to an end, then start again. It’s a folksy, upbeat tune so it’s easy for it to lodge in your head. Then I listened to the lyrics, and it really resonates with me now. When it comes up I just accept it ('There's ripple again') and let it play away in the background. Just writing this has put it back in my head again.

Ripple in still water, when there is no pebble tossed, or wind to blow.

Let it be known there is a fountain, that was not made by the hands of men.

I find such beauty in the lyrics now, and they bring me back to my being, the aware witness that's always there. I think there was something in my consciousness, more so than the mind, that really wanted me to hear this song, even though I didn't pick up on it before.

If you’ve got this far, thank you for reading. May you be happy, may you be well, may you be free from suffering.

If my words did glow with the gold of sunshine
And my tunes were played on the harp unstrung
Would you hear my voice come through the music?
Would you hold it near as it were your own?

It's a hand-me-down, the thoughts are broken
Perhaps they're better left unsung
I don't know, don't really care
Let there be songs to fill the air

Ripple in still water
When there is no pebble tossed
Nor wind to blow

Reach out your hand, if your cup be empty
If your cup is full, may it be again
Let it be known there is a fountain
That was not made by the hands of men

There is a road, no simple highway
Between the dawn and the dark of night
And if you go, no one may follow
That path is for your steps alone

Ripple in still water
When there is no pebble tossed
Nor wind to blow

You who choose to lead must follow
But if you fall you fall alone
If you should stand then who's to guide you?
If I knew the way I would take you home

I love covers of this song, and I went with AJ Lee and the Tuttle family - her voice is like warm honey.